Neuro Risks Of Isolation, Claim Your Power & Change The World, & A Resource For Managing Routines

Loneliness and isolation are rampant in our society and we see it in all ages. Many of our patients struggle with relationship difficulties, which can lead to loneliness and isolation.

COVID-19 certainly hasn’t helped matters. Despite the documented neurological risks that isolation causes, we don’t spend a lot of time talking about how COVID-19 isolation has hurt our children.

As pediatric therapists, we are uniquely positioned to educate parents, teachers and administrators about the public health risks of isolation. We can also amend our therapy approaches to work toward limiting those risks as we go through the next year of pandemic uncertainty.

This is a good starting place. Some concrete neurological hazards of isolation and loneliness laid out in this article are:

• The prefrontal cortex is instrumental in decision making and pro-social behavior. Studies have shown evidence of neuronal dysfunction in the prefrontal cortex of animals who are isolated from their peers.
• Studies have shown a decrease in Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF) and smaller hippocampi in people who are isolated. Both of these issues are correlated with memory and learning deficits.
• Studies spanning the last decade have shown that the size of a person’s amygdala is correlated with the size of their social network. People who are isolated, or who have a smaller social support system tend to have smaller amygdalas. Smaller amygdalas have been associated with anxiety in the research.

Every relationship in your life is defined by a certain power dynamic. In some relationships you are the most “powerful” person, and you take the lead in shaping the behavior of those around you.

Parents, for instance, have more power in the parent-child relationship. Your boss has more power for some things in your work relationship. Leaders, in general, are the people with the power to change minds and actions in the people who follow them.

Pediatric therapists are leaders, but we don’t always see ourselves that way. Families view us as leaders whether or not they realize it. They look to us for answers and direction.

When we don’t step into that leadership role with families they lose respect for our ideas and suggestions. Also, they stop making progress.

My most difficult therapy sessions have always been the ones in which I’ve failed to step into my role as the leader of the therapy session.

It’s important for you to see yourself as a leader because you can get more done that way. If you are steering the ship and taking charge of the direction of the therapeutic relationship you’ll see better outcomes in your therapy sessions.

If you need a boost of confidence in your leadership skills, check out this article about power. It will likely change your mind about what power really looks like. Some of the main take-aways:

• Power has little to do with your feelings. Feeling more powerful does not make you more powerful. It’s all about the nature of the relationship.
• To have the most impact on other people you need to take the focus off of yourself put it onto the person you are trying to impact. What are their thoughts, feelings and needs?
• Work on calming the nervous self-talk you feel in a therapy session: “I hope they like me”, “I hope I can help them”, “What if I fail”. Choose a different phrase that instills confidence. The article suggests saying to yourself “I’m glad to be here, and I know what I know.”
• Sometimes being yourself or acting authentically is not the best way to handle a situation. Sometimes you have to take on a different role that may feel uncomfortable in order to successfully impact your patients. The author suggests being responsible rather than being authentic. Do what you need to do to instill a sense of security in the people who are looking to you for leadership. Let them know “I got this.”
• “No matter who you are, what role you are in, or what stage you are on, the most important person in the scene is never you.”

Go Further:

• If You Want To Change The World, You Need Power: Part 1
• If You Want To Change The World, You Need Power: Part 2
• Acting With Power: Why We Are More Powerful Than We Believe*

I haven’t talked to a single parent or therapist who feels they have had much success helping their kids maintain a sense of normalcy over the last year. We’ve all used social stories, and they are helpful. But they tend to fall flat when it comes to making ideas and plans seem more concrete.

Mighty And Bright helps solve this problem by creating books, calendars and calendar buttons that help children establish routines around very difficult situations: when a parent has cancer, when a child has cancer, dealing with COVID-19, and divorce, for instance.

They can also be used to establish every day routines like taking care of a pet and managing chores.

The buttons are beautifully designed and many of the books and calendars were developed by parents who struggled with similar situations.

This is a great tool for the home or clinic. And so much nicer than computer generated icons.

The goal of Mighty And Bright is to help children become more resilient. We could all use a little bit of help with that right now.

Check out their free downloads here. Listen to their Raising Resilience podcast here.